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Value?

What is to have value?  A question that was presented to me through divine intervention somewhere in the dark of last night.  The question proved more and more difficult to answer as I considered all that I knew to be valued by society.  We value stocks, money, and gemstones.  We place a monetary assignment to real estate, vehicles, and pay rates.  But what is it to value someone as a human being?  I began to think of the people who had value in my life.  Why did I place a specific appreciation to those that made my list and more importantly why did some get placed higher on the ladder of my life than others? I certainly value my doctor, my pastor, and employees but others such as my kids, special friends and loved ones rated differently.  They held a higher valuation.  As I sat in the dark pontificating the measure in which I place people in my life, my mind began to consider my own value.  What was my worth to others and even more importantly what measure of significance did I place on myself?

For many years, I truly believed what society was only so willing to teach.  My educational achievements, occupational accomplishments, and physical appearance would catapult me into the sphere of being valued by my peers.  In some cases this was true.  Then I became a mother.  I began to speak in one syllabal words, my daily job required car pooling and wiping noses, and many times I ran out of the house with my hair looking like I licked an electric socket but truth be told I never felt so valued in my life.

After taking a deep look inward, I realized that valuation really is determined by each of us individually.  We “rate” people on our own belief systems.  When we feel that our boss doesn’t value the work we are doing, it because our own moral compass is being wound.  We have our own expectations on what someone’s appreciation should look like.  It is also true in our personal relationships.  How many of us have found ourselves in marriages or relationships where we spend much of our time seeking our worth to the other person?  When the other person creates an environment where our core value cannot be found it can be as productive as trying to nail jello to the wall.  That’s when we have to look inward and realize our own value.

At some of my lowest points I have had to remember why I think I am here on earth.  It is when I am truly aligned with this purpose that I find my own true value and my own happiness.

 

Looking For Change

Within five minutes of waking up this morning, the word or thought of change must have crossed my mind ten times.  I certainly wished it was not time to get up and would have like to have changed the fact that I thought it was a good idea to clean up my basement and go to bed at 3 AM.  I would have done anything  to change my mission of going  downstairs to my son’s room to try to pry him from his bed for school.  Then there was the date on the milk container, the fact that I forgot to turn on the dryer after I washed a load of much needed socks, and the fact I decided to live in New Jersey instead of Miami during the winter.

I think most of us have stumbled on things we would like to have changed in our lives.  Who hasn’t lamented on the love we let slip through our fingers, the career we should have pursued or the comment we made about our wife’s pants that might have appeared too tight or our husband decision not to follow the GPS?  The reflection of change can be good because it challenges us to make better choices in the future and not to travel roads too dark to navigate.

I have found myself challenged, at times, with the incessant need to change the people in my life.  Age somehow puts us in the precarious position of watching your children heading toward the same mistakes you made.  Your spouse couldn’t possibly want to attend the neighborhood party wearing what he selected from his closet. And my favorite…spending hours trying to convince someone who doesn’t like you that you are worthy of their affection.  Who wouldn’t want to change those pending dooms?

Then life has this great way of course correcting us.  Frustration of daily bumps, aching hearts of missed opportunities, and broken relationships quickly teach us that the only thing we can change is ourselves.  If you are like me, I was quite shocked that I was in need of any alteration but a closer examination revealed a plethera of miscontrued ideas and misdirected channels of love.  After I recovered from the dismal revelation, I began to appreciate the bumps a little more.  My sons were happy with a bagel this morning instead of a bowl of cereal, the extra long short cut provided the discovery of a sweet little antique store and some of the people I spent so long trying to change were finally released and  set free on their own journey.  My life started having more appreciation for the amazing cashmere sweater that I put on that would have never worked in Miami and that life had a way of putting the right people in our lives to love and to be loved by the way we deserve and the joys of being in love could once again be part of my equation.

I am far from cured.  There are somedays I still wish to see my Nan one more time and for the price of gas to be reflective of the 70’s but for the most part I am really happy to be tapped on the shoulder by life when I fall off my path and to be sure enough of myself to not make changes that others have suggested that are not true to who I am.

Finding Happiness If It Can’t Find You

What does it really take to make any of us happy?  A new car…the perfect luxurious house, a brand new pair of delicious high heels (I hope so)?  Sure.  All of these things can send us a flurry with feelings of bliss but for those of us who have traveled half way through our lives we probably also know that this materialistic buzz is usually short lived.  Often a shift in our personal life or spiritual alignment causes us to be more aware of what truly causes us joy.  I have found for me that at this point in my life it is truly the little things that light me up.  Watching my children make good decisions, helping another human being, having a loving hand hold mine are just some of those moments that makes my heart beat a little faster.  But sometimes we have to dig deeper.  It has taken me almost all of my life to realize that some of the decisions I have made have not made me happy.  I controlled too much, paid attention to too little and stayed too long.  And while I believed I was doing the best for those around me, I wasn’t because I had no happiness…no inner glow.  I just kept waiting for it to happen and it never seemed to get to me.  My holding on cost me time with my family, peace of mind and part of my heart.  But living like this was not what was intended for me.  Happiness was staring me right in the face.  When I opened my eyes, I saw it.  While there was so much I lost in the past few years, I had gained so much more.  There were people who magically appeared in my life to deliver me hope and love.  My children were really amazing young adults with big hearts and warm smiles.  And…when I finally put down my wall, I saw that God had given me a love inside to give away.  Finally, it was ok to say I have done all I can and move forward to find my own peace and happiness.  It was then I was really able to be all I could be….a happy loving woman and mother.

 

Kisses Bellas.

Why Do I Care If You Dye Your Hair?

What is wrong with us women?  We are such an amazing force to be reckoned with and yet we are always pitting ourselves against each other.  How many of us have been invited to an evening out with other couples only to spend hours before ripping apart our closets looking for the perfect outfit…you know…the one that makes our size 8 bodies look like we are a size 4….not to be admired by our husbands/boyfriends or the other men attending but to avoid the chopping block of the other women attending the dinner.  Then there are the “once overs”.  The casual inspections we do when we first come into contact with another woman.  Some might think we are judging and in some cases we are but I have to admit…there have been many times I have found myself wondering where my friend found those fabulous pair of vintage heels or thought “hey that looks amazing together.”  It’s almost like we can’t help ourselves.

For those of us who have experienced the roaming husband, the other woman has the amazing ability of becoming the complete focus of our attention and distain.  Why does she die her hair that color?  Her pants are too tight.  She’s an airhead.  She’s too young.  She’s too old.  It’s as though suddenly our husbands are not even a part of the equations.  It is her against me.

I have found myself too often surrounded by a women of my own age bracket judging a girl half our age with the highly intellectual question “how many kids did she have?”  I too had an amazing body at that age but I wonder if the dessert we are eating during the discussion might be a part of the reason we are not where we want to be.

We are a funny bunch us women.  We can be arch enemies but let someone cross one of us and we become the strongest union ever formed.  I just wonder how much further we would be in the scheme of things if we dressed for ourselves, lent a hand to our friend who is mismatched, guided a young woman in some of her decisions, reminded a wandering woman that the title of “husband” means they are off the market even he doesn’t remember that concept, and laughter is the best way to get through what life often dishes us.

We are strong, smart, sentimental, caring, emotional beings…2012 would be better spent on self awareness, breast cancer research, erradicating domestic violence.

Remember:  One Woman Can Change Anything. Many Women Can Change Everything.

Kisses bellas!!

What have I Learned this Year?

Resolutions building in our mind…2012 is around the corner but isn’t it true that before we can make our never ending list of things we would like to change in the upcoming year perhaps we should take a minute to reflect.  2011 came in with a bang for me! After many years of abuse, I finally found myself on the other side of the door.  I was the CEO of a fabulous high heel company, Deborah Stilettos, in New Hope, Pa and the mother of three great kids…but I was scared.  I spent so many years focusing on someone who wasn’t really worthy of my attention that I neglected my own heart, dreams, and the beautiful moments with my children.  As the year comes to a close, I leave it with a bang as well but this time a firework with pink streamers.  I am not the same woman I was a year ago.  I feel more comfortable in my skin.  I LOVE dressing up and slipping on one of my fabulous high heels …not for anyone else but me.  My children have grown into such wonderful young adults and I am able to really pause long enough to appreciate it.  The friends in my life today are quality people who not only bring a special gift to the friendship but a piece of themselves to helping others.

So what I learned this year is that sometimes making a frightening change can bring happiness beyond imagination.  Being true to yourself is not only a gift you can give yourself but one you can give to your family and others because you will be happy.  And, when it would be easier to just throw on sweats and have my hair in a ponytail, I know those are the days that I need to pull myself together, put on some makeup, do my hair and find my best pair of heels to slip on because that is a day when I need to show the world the best me.

Happy New Year Bellas!!

Economic Times and High Heels

While we all wait for the economy to turn around, it is not unusual to feel a little downtrodden.  Just a few years ago it seemed like we were all spending like there was no tomorrow.  Myself included.  However, if we dig a little deeper, there is something really positive that has come from this whole experience.  The art of shopping smarter and better!!  We have all had to reconsider our buying habits.  The good thing is great style does not always have to come with a hefty price tag.  It is something we believe strongly at our store-Deborah Stilettos.  When we were in the planning stages, I wanted to create a boutique feel to our store that gave all the glamour of the higher end retailers but offer our guests fabulous shoes at even better prices.  Many of our shoes are $59.00!!  Out of the 77 styles we currently have on display we only have two shoes that exceed $100.00 and that includes our boot selection.  So while times may be temporarily tough, it is still important to venture out in the world every day looking our best.  Plus who doesn’t feel great after buying a new pair of heels?  Now you can feel even better by not paying a fortune for them.   This has been a wonderful heel for us.  The ever popular animal print complimented by the unusual style of the heel makes this a “WOWER!”  What makes it even more exciting is that is comes in different prints and colors and it’s only $59!!!  Come visit us at 16 W Bridge Street, New Hope, Pa- and PLEASE “like” us on our facebook page at www.Facebook.com/DeborahStilettos.  Kisses Bellas!

Cold Enough??? Time for Boots!

Funny…I have lived in New Jersey all my life and yet I still find myself, along with others, commenting on how cold it is getting the same time each year.  As the years progress, I find myself liking the cold less and less but of course there are some delightful things that come with the cold weather…roaring fireplaces, leggings in delightful colors, cashmere sweaters and of course our beloved boots.  There is something show stopping and sexy about a tall pair of boots wrapped around our legs.  Of course by now you have  already figured out that I am a complete high heel/stiletto aficionado and I am drawn to a pair of high-heeled boots paired with a skirt and sweater like a moth to a flame but I must admit that we have added some lower heel and even flat boots to our store line and they are nothing short of adorable.  Rain boots have gone from the frumpy goloshes to complete fashion statements.  Winter boots have gone from necessity items to fashion statements.  We have even figured out how to take one pair of boots that we have in our closet and add a boot wrap to make it look completely different.  So winter does bring some true delights.  Please come visit us at Deborah Stilettos at 16 W Bridge Street in New Hope, Pa.  Mention this blog and receive 20% off your next purchase of boots.  We want everyone to be happy this winter season.  “Like” us on Facebook and receive $5 off a pair of Huggrz boot wraps.  www.Facebook.com/DeborahStilettos

Huggrz- A Great New Way To Accessorize Your Boots

The shoes and boots this season just seem to get better and better as they arrive.  Sparkles, stilettos, and tons of faux fur make each boot a piece of work in its own right.  So why center out Huggrz?  Well…because they are nothing short of fabulous!  Have a pair of Uggs or boots in your closet collecting dust because you think you have been seen in them too many times?  Then Huggrz are perfect for you.  Slide one of our seven styles over your closet burdened boots and BOOM…you have a completely new look!  Come visit our store in New Hope, Pa to see them in Natural Rabbit, Pink Rabbit, Cream Sherpa (my FAVORITE!!!), Black Sherpa, Beaver, Mink, and Striped Mink.  Whether you like sophisticated, fun, or all out CRAZY, there is a Huggrz for you.  Like us on Facebook  -www.facebook.com/DeborahStilettos

 

When Do We Really Fall In Love With Shoes?

I got this picture sent to me from my brother yesterday.  Good thing because I needed a good pick me up.  This is my 18 month old niece who in my opinion is simply GORGEOUS!!!  After I got over all of the ooohhhss and aaahhhhsss, I couldn’t help but wonder when it is when we really fall in love with shoes.  For me, it was definitely when I was a little girl.  My mom was a fashionista of sorts and like most young girls I wanted to be just like her.  Heels always made me feel taller, glamorous, sexy (when I got older) and well….expressive.  It was easy to take a chance and express your personality wearing a “crazy” heel or multi patterned fabric shoe. Much easier than wearing a whole outfit of it.  As I got older, I would go up and down the scale and once again my old friends would not turn their back on me.  It didn’t matter what size I was.  They slipped on never letting me down.  I think that is why women have fallen so helplessly in love with heels.  Shoes don’t judge you.  Come in and visit us and let us introduce you to a new friend…and new pair of heels.  16 Bridge Street, New Hope,PA.

What Do You Call These Stilettos? Attitude With A Bling!

It was an amazing day in New Hope. The store was busy with people enjoying a little shopping on a lovely fall day.  Then shortly before the day came to a close…Annie walked in with her family.  After getting a strong recommendation from a fellow shopper, Annie came to check us out.  Almost like a divine calling…Annie was drawn to one of most fabulous pairs of shoes in our store.  Just when I thought they couldn’t look any better, they almost came alive when they graced her feet. Her husband loved them and he was so wonderful in that he wanted to treat his bride to a gift.  Annie is no stranger to heels…a self described shoe affectionado she is also the director of the prestigious John Casablanca Modeling Agency. Turning young girls into successful models is what she does and does well so I can’t tell you how excited I was when she suggested we use the models for our front window for next weekend.  What really made the day magical was seeing someone as excited about these beautiful shoes as I am.