What is to have value? A question that was presented to me through divine intervention somewhere in the dark of last night. The question proved more and more difficult to answer as I considered all that I knew to be valued by society. We value stocks, money, and gemstones. We place a monetary assignment to real estate, vehicles, and pay rates. But what is it to value someone as a human being? I began to think of the people who had value in my life. Why did I place a specific appreciation to those that made my list and more importantly why did some get placed higher on the ladder of my life than others? I certainly value my doctor, my pastor, and employees but others such as my kids, special friends and loved ones rated differently. They held a higher valuation. As I sat in the dark pontificating the measure in which I place people in my life, my mind began to consider my own value. What was my worth to others and even more importantly what measure of significance did I place on myself?
For many years, I truly believed what society was only so willing to teach. My educational achievements, occupational accomplishments, and physical appearance would catapult me into the sphere of being valued by my peers. In some cases this was true. Then I became a mother. I began to speak in one syllabal words, my daily job required car pooling and wiping noses, and many times I ran out of the house with my hair looking like I licked an electric socket but truth be told I never felt so valued in my life.
After taking a deep look inward, I realized that valuation really is determined by each of us individually. We “rate” people on our own belief systems. When we feel that our boss doesn’t value the work we are doing, it because our own moral compass is being wound. We have our own expectations on what someone’s appreciation should look like. It is also true in our personal relationships. How many of us have found ourselves in marriages or relationships where we spend much of our time seeking our worth to the other person? When the other person creates an environment where our core value cannot be found it can be as productive as trying to nail jello to the wall. That’s when we have to look inward and realize our own value.
At some of my lowest points I have had to remember why I think I am here on earth. It is when I am truly aligned with this purpose that I find my own true value and my own happiness.