Being a shoe designer is like in-house therapy. Depending on my mood, my shoe creations might be edgy, feminine, classy…. Most of my creations are unconventional and were inspired by life events. My latest high heel/stiletto is called “Justice.” This stunning four-inch heels began as a nude Mary Jane stiletto. It was classic and feminine and the nude coloring was certainly neutral and elegant. My daughter is an avid shooter and one day after a few rounds she came home with the brass shells. They were tiny and unusual-almost having an antique feel to them as they had been traveled through the barrel of a gun. I asked her to collect them for me next time she went because I had an idea for a shoe.
Not long after, I had a bag of brass shells sitting on my desk. Delighted to see them, I began immediately to create a high heel that would make a statement. With embellishing glue, I attached the shells close to the bottom of the shoe and right above where the platform started. This shoe was getting more and more exciting with each add-on. Soon the first stiletto was completed and I started with the next. The drying time was a few hours and I was really pleased on what had been created thus far. Yet bullet shells alone did not make the statement. I played around with adding more shells and soon I started gluing them down the stiletto heel. Each shell casing protruded outward giving the shoe a very unique look not to mention making the shoe looked tough…how I felt about the “justice” system and domestic violence.
The shoe is will be available on our website DeborahStilettos.com, our Facebook pages www.Facebook.com/DeborahStilettos and www.Facebook.com/HeelingInc. A portion of the proceeds of this shoe, now available for $69.00, will go to assisting families coping with domestic violence. So buy these shoes and lend your support to a worthy cause…you will be sure to be a show stopper with them on. Ciou Bellas, Deborah Stilettos, www.DeborahStilettos.com
I am about to step out of my comfort zone and open my deep dark closet for everyone who reads this to see. There will be some that will read this and question my need to put this in writing and others who know me may be shocked or saddened to learn of what I am about to share. While I appreciate those of you who fall into either of those categories for taking the time to read this blog, you are not the one I am writing to…I am writing to the woman who needs to hear this.
My life at one time was full of dreams and happy moments. They were so happy quite frankly that I could never have imagined things turning out the way they did. But as I look back, there were clues…clues I saw, clues I tripped on and clues I fell over and for some curious reason I continued down the path. I came from a small town and had protective parents and two younger brothers. My world was pretty small and sheltered. I was like every young girl. I dated, had my heart-broken, laughed a lot, hung out with my friends, and went to college. School was my thing. I loved learning and I was good at it. I received awards, accomplished goals, and met a man who I would eventually call my husband.
Soon I took a path…the path down the wedding aisle, the path to children and a very dark path I couldn’t find my way out of for a very long time. The years collected and so did the clues. The changes didn’t happen over night. They were slow and methodical. At first, I thought I was just becoming too sensitive as I got older. I then blamed it on the pressures of life and the demands of having children. Things progressively got worse and as they did my excuses became larger and more unreasonable.
And while this was a slow progression, when I finally woke up to see how my life was eroding away, I was not the same girl who left her small hometown. I was a grown woman who had been ripped to shreds by the razor-sharp tongue by the man she thought loved her. I became frightened of the phone that it was surely going to deliver another round of stinging words strung together to destroy what was left of my heart and soul. My closet became my safe haven and I found myself constantly worried about my children, my finances, and my ability to endure the next crisis.
What happen to the girl who was destined to do great things? How did she become this frightened woman unable to free herself from the grips of abuse? To this day, I don’t know the answer and yet I find myself asking it over and over.
Then one day…the pot boiled over and a force greater than myself guided me to safety. I cried, agonized, felt guilt ridden that I had left…a sickness some may call it. But for me, I felt damaged. I didn’t think my soul would ever repair. In some ways, I was not even sure I had enough to go on but I woke up everyday because my children needed me. I got dressed, put make up on, and functioned the best I could. Little by little, I started a company. Not every day was great but everyday was better than what I had left. Tears slowly stopped flowing and I was actually surprised to hear myself laugh again. Every milestone I reached allowed me to replace my fears with confidence. The mountains were still there to climb but I was no longer doing it in bare feet. I was prepared and gave myself moments to think my own thoughts.
I am free now… Free of the abuse and the unacceptable….free to be in love and be loved in return…free to make my own choices…and free to be in the company of others or in the peace of my own being. Leaving was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made but it is the greatest gift I have ever given myself. You only get one life…no do overs, no refunds! You have the right to be happy…the right to be loved…the right to be appreciated…the right to live without fear. This may not be your story but if it is…there’s hope. Kisses Bellas www.facebook.com/HeelingInc