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The Happiness Habit

Who doesn’t want to be happy?  We all do on some level.  We read books, attend seminars, watch shows, listen to music all for this quest for happiness and yet some of us struggle to ever to get there.   I was at church this past weekend and it seems like every Sunday I leave with another …”aha” moment.  Perhaps I am more open than I have been in the past to process a new concept.  This blog is not about the fundamentals of religion or the history of the bible…there are by far better blogs, books and sources to ascertain that information.  No… this blog is based on something else I learned.  That life is not about working harder or doing better.  It is about training ourselves to do things differently…the habit of finding happiness.

I have caught myself, more than one occasion talking about the same old problem…making the same old resolutions…swearing off the same toxic relationship only to have myself right back in the same position not too long after and I wonder why.  I think it would be safe to say we all find ourselves repeating old behaviors or actions because we have actually programmed ourselves to living this way.  We may not like where we are but it is a lot less scary than not knowing where you are going.  And who would not agree that retraining ourselves is not always the easier thing to do…or is that what we have ourselves believing?

I think each of us is based on the concept of a triangle.  Whenever I bring this concept up, people are amazed on the idea but it is remarkably true.  The top of the triangle represents what is most important to us.  It could be love, family, our careers…dig deep you will find it.  The bottom two corners are also important…slightly lesser maybe than the top yet equal to the other on the opposite side.  When you have a made three specific choices, think about someone who might have been detrimental in your life.  Or a career that interrupted the shape…or a special person in your life who was so special that they took all of your corners off leaving you now with a circle, a zero, a hole.

It makes you wonder if it’s a habit worth holding onto or a habit worth replacing with a new one?  The happiness habit doesn’t come from a day at the beach or at the mall.  It comes from the conscious decision to enjoy life, enjoy the gifts we are presented with everyday and to enjoy now.  Sometimes that is easier said than done.  I can relate.  There are days that rolling back into bed with my host of bad habits and hang ups would be a welcome relief…less taxing and a whole less complicated.  They say that for every minute you stay stuck is sixty-second lost of happiness.  A drop in the bucket until to you realize that you have been stuck for the past ten years…don’t worry I won’t even tell you how many seconds that is.

So now that Pandora’s box has been swung off the hinges…what to do about the hole you’re sitting in.  That’s when this becomes exciting…you are in total control of what happens from this point.  You can set up a chair and sit in the hole you have carved out for yourself or dig out using a teaspoon or a shovel.  For me the process was easy…I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I took a long deep look at myself and then made some drastic changes.  I stopped trying to figure out who didn’t approve of me and started to more discerning on who I wanted in my life.  Anyone…anyone who was armed with a pair of scissors ready to cut off one of the corners of my triangles I said goodbye.  I found a career that made me happy and highlighted not only the things that I was good at but the things I really love doing.  I learned to stop and admire my children for the wonderful adults they were becoming.  I surrounded myself around people who were encouraging and supportive and not sitting with their foot out ready to me trip me as I walked by.  It was difficult but the hurdles were so worth the true bliss I have today.  I just had to train myself to believe that I was placed here on earth to be happy and in return give back.  Kisses Bellas, Deborah Stilettos  www.Facebook.com/HeelingInc.